


it's only a crime if you're caught

by Liberte_Egalite_Broadway



Series: I don't know who I am (but I know who I'm not) [7]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Canon Queer Relationship, Character Study, F/F, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Angst, Gay Rights, Gen, Heist, Juno and Peter's PDA is still going strong, Nonbinary Juno Steel, Other, Past Torture, Post-Season/Series 02, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, but hey there's a cool mid-space restaurant heist to make up for it, this fic is really painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-26 00:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18173375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liberte_Egalite_Broadway/pseuds/Liberte_Egalite_Broadway
Summary: Peter has lost Juno once, and after that, he's promised it will never happen again.But if their next heist is any indicator, that might not be such an easy promise to keep. Oh, and it seems he'll have to fake a marriage again.~~Part heist, part character study through the lens of past trauma.





	1. a secret under lock and key

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of you have read the rest of my series. If you haven't read the rest of the series, no worries! This will still make sense, although it will make a little more sense if you do read the rest. Then you might know what I'm capable of putting you through. 
> 
> I promised you suffering and now I'm here to deliver. Welcome to hell, you Jupeter sluts. 
> 
> I love you all dearly.

There are scars all over Peter's arms. 

Some are shallow, some deeper. The ones on his wrists are the worst. Long, harsh white lines where the restraints cut into them. It's a wonder that his wristbones didn't break. 

The scar at his left shoulder spikes off to his collarbone, where it splits and crackles over his chest like a bolt of lightning. The scars are pale and fairly faded. Someone would have to be very close to notice them - such as lying right next to him, face-level with his torso, at a time when he happened to be shirtless. Which, coincidentally, is the position Juno Steel is in right now. 

"Does it hurt still?" the detective mumbles. His fingertip trails over the line of one scar, following it along the thief's sternum, down to his ribcage. It's a thin scar, the width of a flower petal turned on its side. When they were in the Martian lair, Juno never saw what exactly Miasma's torture machines did to the thief. He only heard it, in agonized screams echoing down the corridor. Now he sees it all.

"Not much," Peter murmurs back, smiling at Juno. "Not physically, at least."

Juno nods, understanding. Sometimes things that don't hurt physically can still hurt you in a lot of other ways and doesn't he know that well. Just last night he woke up screaming. Not the first time it's happened, but the first time in a while. He heard the THEIA in his mind, felt it throbbing in his eye with that intense reality that only dreams can create - heard that cool, creepy female voice calmly rewiring his brain. When he woke up he didn't know where he was at first, until his eye caught sight of the red painting on the wall of his cabin. His cabin, on his team's spaceship. In bed with his boyfriend, Peter Nureyev.

Peter held him for a long time after that, while Juno cried and cried until the thief's shirt was completely soaked. Which led to his current state of shirtlessness. Not that Juno is complaining. 

He relaxes against Peter's arm again, his own arm falling lazily across the thief's stomach. Peter's fingertips against his wrist, against the back of his neck. "You'd tell me, though, right?"

"I tell you everything, Juno."

"Yeah." Juno smiles sleepily. "Yeah, I guess you do."

"So tell me something." Peter props himself up on one elbow so he is slightly above Juno and cups the lady's jaw between his slender fingers, a move that is somehow both gentle and evocative all at once. "What was it that upset you so much last night?"

There it is. 

Peter is so open with Juno, so honest. And yet right now it is so difficult for Juno to do the same. Maybe because he's had trouble trusting people in the past, maybe because he has trouble trusting that this will ever last when so little has before. He doesn't know. He should be fully honest, but most of the time he can't be, however guilty that makes him feel. He looks away, leading his eyes to fall on the painting on his cabin wall. It's of the red sands of Mars, and he stole it on their last heist. Something to remind him of home. 

"I can't tell you," he says quietly.

Peter watches him for a moment longer. When Juno says nothing, he shrugs and drops a kiss against the detective's cheek. "Then don't tell me," he says. "But promise me you aren't in any danger. That you won't be hurt."

"No. I'm long past being scared of the - what's the phrase? - the monsters under the bed."

"Well I hope you're alright with a criminal _in_ your bed."

Juno turns his face back to Peter's. Their noses bump together, and Peter's breath tickles his cheek. "Peter Nureyev, are you flirting with me?"

"Only if you want me to be."

They kiss, slowly and deeply, cocooned in the warmth of the blankets and haze of the early morning, mingling with the coolness of gentle breath against gentle breath. Juno doesn't want to break apart, except that his coms starts to go off. He grabs it with an arm behind Peter's waist, keeping their lips mashed together until the last possible moment. "Yeah?"

"Hello, darling," says the familiar voice of Buddy Aurinko on his coms. "Having a good morning?"

"Yeah, great. I just woke up."

"I doubt that very much. But let's not worry about your strange sleeping habits now. Vespa has an idea and she wants you all to come to the meeting room in ten."

"But it's only six thirty." 

"Not  _at_ ten, darling,  _in_ ten. As in, ten minutes from now. We stayed up very late last night planning this heist together, but she gets most of the credit for it, and so you will adhere to her schedule. Tell Fay he has to come too."

"Yeah? How about Rita and Jet, are you dragging them out of bed this early?"

"Jet has been up for two hours working out, and Rita is already here. You are simply a slow riser."

"Yeah, well..."

"Ten minutes, darling." A note of amusement flickers in the bombshell's voice. If Juno switched to a face call, he'd probably see Vespa and Rita smirking behind her. "See you soon."

The call shuts off. Juno sits up and stretches his arms above his head. "You heard all of that?"

"Mm."

"We should get going, I guess." He unfolds himself from the bed and sits up, shrugging off his night clothes. When he stands and looks over his shoulder, Peter is still lying in bed, smiling up at him. "What?" he asks. "What are you smiling at?"

"Oh, nothing." The thief grins over all of the plush blankets he steals every night. "I'm just admiring my beautiful lady and thinking on how happy I am to be with him."

Juno blushes. 

 

"You're totally serious?"

"Totally serious, kid."

"You ain't kidding even a little bit?"

"Nope."

"Wow."

"Yep."

Rita sits at the meeting table across from green-haired Vespa. The other woman has her arm looped loosely around her girlfriend's, her free hand tap-tapping on a floating screen. Jet is there too, sitting next to Rita and knitting a scarf. He and Rita have been up for a couple of hours already, him doing push-ups in the spaceship's small gym while she sat on his back and read gossip magazine articles aloud. Now they're just waiting for Juno Steel and Fay Arrow, who, as usual, are late. 

Rita doesn't mind that they're late. It gives her more time to talk over the upcoming heist with Vespa and Buddy. The plan has a lot to do with the THEIA souls and very little to do with fancy outfits, but all Rita sees on the screen are fancy outfits, and no THEIA souls, so she's naturally a teeny bit confused. 

"It's very simply," says Buddy smoothly. "We know that Sir Magnus frequents the Opal Palace in the Diana System, every Friday evening. We know that he always carries his electronic files on his person. And so, you are best equipped to take them."

"Yeah," says Rita. "But I don't get what all this silk and stuff's got to do with that."

Buddy and Jet smile at each other across the table. "That is just it," says Jet, lowering his knitting to his lap. "I have observed that you are very bored here. That you want to leave the ship and stretch your legs every once in a while."

"...yeah?"

"I have also observed that you are frequently asking for new outfits."

"Yeah?"

"I have also -"

He's cut off by the door sliding open, and Juno and Fay come in holding hands. Because they're always holding hands these days. "Sorry we're late," says Fay airily, and he presses a few buttons on the screen to order them both a breakfast from the ship's stores, then lounges across the window seat with Juno on his lap.

"You were saying?" Buddy prompts Jet. 

"Right. I have also noticed that the best way for someone to hack into a personal database is to be in that database's vicinity."

Rita nods as the idea slowly dawns on her. "So, wait," she says. "You're saying I get to go on this heist? To steal the THEIA plans from Lord Whats-his-face's personal data-whatever? I get to go to the Opal Palace?"

"If you're up for it."

"If I'm up for it!" She skips around the table and hugs Jet, Buddy, and Vespa in turn. "I'm so excited! I don't  _EVER_ get to go on the fancy heists!" She plops back into her seat and points a finger at Fay, accusing. "That's cause you always get chosen instead of me."

Fay, who is currently being fed cherry scones by Juno Steel, just shrugs. 

"Well, you aren't going instead of him." Vespa takes out the fake IDs she printed last night. "You'll actually be going with him." 

Rita frowns and studies her ID. There's her picture, along with a fake date of birth, fake planet of origin, fake name. "Aria Blossom." And a fake marital status...

"Narcissus Blossom," Fay remarks from across the room. "Quite a mouthful."

"Hang on," says Rita. "Mistah Arrow is coming with me?"

"Yes," says Buddy. "If you can't access Lord Magnus's files remotely, someone will have to steal them. A master thief seems most equipped to do the stealing, wouldn't you say? But we needed a plausible reason for you to be together, so..."

After a moment of silence, Fay starts to laugh. It dawns on Rita a split-second later.

"Mistah Arrow and me are fake married?!"

" _What!"_ snaps Juno. 

"As I said, it's most plausible."

"She's going to be married? To him?!"

"Only in pretend, darling." Buddy arches an eyebrow. "Really, you're very defensive."

"Why can't Jet be fake married to Rita?" Juno sputters. "Or one of you - hell, me, for that matter? Or why can't I be fake married to Fay? Why does _Fay_ have to be fake married to Rita?"

"My god, you're a territorial little thing," says Fay as he sips his coffee. He doesn't seem offended - in fact he seems to be amused by the idea. "You know I am all yours, Juno, darling." He gives the petulant detective a light kiss on the cheek. 

"Well, Steel, we have a different plan for you." Vespa takes out another fake ID and hands it over. "See, we need someone inside the Opal Palace. Someone who can monitor Sir Magnus's movements and can track the place without arousing suspicion. So you're going to be Casey Simons, a server heading to his first shift." 

"You have got to be kidding me." 

"Not a bit. And you have until tonight to prepare." Buddy pushes back her chair. "Now if you'll excuse us, Vespa and I have to put in the coordinates. Oh, and decide what you'll all be wearing, of course. Vespa?"

And the two women leave, arm in arm. 

"Don't be so sulky," trills Fay. Juno frowns, looking nothing except sulky. He really loves Fay, Rita can tell that. And he wants him all to himself. Of course he does. It's been so long since her boss has had anything valuable to really call his own. A relationship least of all.

She decides to leave them to it. "I'm gonna catch another episode of  _The King's Decree_ ," she says, standing up. "So I'll see you both later! Ooh, you should do something relaxing before we go on our heist! That'll make ya feel better, Mistah Steel." 

"Sure. Whatever," says Juno. 

"I will come with you." Jet stands as well and goes to open the door for Rita. He's nice like that. "I have nearly completed my knitting anyway."

"Well, have fun, you two." Fay winks at Rita in a conspiratorial way. "So long, wifey dearest."

Rita's not sure whether she should die of embarrassment or roll her eyes, so she settles for saying "Hmf!" and skipping away to her room, screen in hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Jet Sikuliaq so much I can't even express it to you. 
> 
> Also hey, if you're a Night Vale fan, I just posted a Maureen/Michelle fic yesterday and I would appreciate some love for it? Girl x girl ships don't seem to do very well on AO3, so as a wlw myself, I would really like some kudos there. 
> 
> I don't love the title of this fic so if you have a suggestion let me know.


	2. we're young enough to try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Rita fake a marriage. Peter fakes confidence as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The asteroid in this chapter is named after me. This is the second time I've named something after myself in a fanfiction.
> 
> There is ,,,, oh my god this chapter is so gay I can't ;;; you guys it's bad. there's so much kissing. I have never been kissed in my life so I'm uh,,, I'm Projecting?? and wow there's um there's So Much kissing in this chapter they like eat each other's faces so yeah you have been *warned*. nothing sexual or anything just so so much kissing. I'm giving you guys something good before I take your souls from you in the upcoming chapters.
> 
> This chapter is so freaking long what the heck

_"The first rule of thieving," Mag said, "is that our needs come first."_

_(Needs, Peter learned, go in a certain order.) The first was food and water. Always food and water. He and Mag could never carry anything on them, and so at the beginning or end of a long day, food and water were essential. Next was shelter. Find a dry corner in an alley, find a safe room in an abandoned warehouse, just find something dry and out of sight. If they were separated, his next need would be a way to contact Mag, such as a burner coms. If not, the next need was a source of money. Such as the silver ear cuff he held in his hand one night while he waited for his mentor to find him._

_The Diana System is only called a system because someone with the name Diana and enough money to persuade galactic governments decided that it should be called a system. Really, it's a scrappy collection of asteroids that should not have become a palace for the wealthy. But now, between those asteroids, people go to shows and eat at fancy restaurants. Oxygen spheres float in space like bubbles blown by a child. The system existed before Peter did. He assumed, as he watched it from the window of his safe house, that it would go on existing afterwards._

_He sat in an abandoned motel on asteroid 661-HG. This motel used to be a place for employees at the various casinos and dining spots to catch some sleep between their shifts, since chances were good that their home planets were too far away to justify leaving the system. But that fell out of style as shifts became longer and travel became faster. So on this day, it was empty, save for a fifteen year old boy with jet black hair. He sat perfectly still, hand cupped before him, eyes pointed to the prize concealed within it._

_There came a shuffling at the window. Moments later, the window opened and Mag stepped through. "Hullo, Pete," he said cheerfully, unslinging the bag over his shoulder. "Only been at this for a few years, and you're already faster than me! I'm impressed."_

_"I've always been faster than you, old man," Peter laughed. Mag laughed to and sat down on the edge of the crumbling motel chair._

_"Good take?"_

_Peter gestured noncommittally to the pile of expensive jewelry on his bed. Mag let out a low whistle. "How'd you manage that? I had to sneak around like a shadow."_

_"I didn't go into the establishments." Peter took the loaf of bread Mag held out to him, ripped it open with his sharp teeth. "I stole a uniform and went to the lost and found. Then I told the person there that the manager needed to see the entire cache. They let you get away with anything if you invoke the manager. It puts you on an even playing field."_

_Mag grinned and ruffled Peter's hair. "You're learning quick." He nodded to the ear cuff in the boy's hand. "So what's that, then? Forgot to add it to the pile?"_

_"No." Peter thumbed the chain of silver that connected cuff to stud. "This I want to keep."_

_"Really? Why?"_

_He didn't answer at first. It was hard to explain. He hadn't gone into the establishments, but he had seen other people going in, glistening with jewels, bodies sheathed in slinky dresses and crisp suits. Earrings sparkling beside their heads with the weight of money and the dazzle of stars. These were beautiful people, and they had everything. He had nothing, and he hated them, but he envied them too. One woman had worn an ear cuff - this ear cuff - and the chain swung beside her face when she moved her head, like a thread of starlight over her ear. He stopped her as she checked her lipstick outside a theatre, a colored piece of paper in his hand. "Forgive me madam but might I interest you in a donation for the poor? This pamphlet explains everything -" and he held the pamphlet over her right shoulder, pulling her gaze to it while his fingers freed the cuff on her left ear with a touch as soft as flower petals. The piece of paper wasn't a pamphlet, but she barely even glanced at it, so it didn't matter. And now the cuff was his._

_"It's pretty," he told Mag. "I like it. Can I keep it?"_

_"You don't have pierced ears, Peter." Mag frowned as Peter turned his head. "Oh. You do have pierced ears. Peter, did you pierce your ears with a lockpick? That's not safe, my boy."_

_"Can I keep the ear cuff?"_

_Mag sighed. "Yes, you can keep the ear cuff." He sat back in the chair with his own loaf of bread. "But be careful not to like it too much. First rule of thieving: never acquire anything you wouldn't be able to give up."_

 

They have a rule that whoever planned the heist gets to style the participants. This rule was implemented after the fourth consecutive heist featuring Peter _(most of their heists feature Peter in some way or another)_ , in which Buddy wanted him to wear a black vest and he wanted to wear a jacket instead. Except the jacket had silver studs, which caught in the searchlights of the guards after them and nearly got him caught. She argued that if he had worn what she wanted this wouldn't have happened; he countered that he did manage to get away in time. Jet, ever the pacifist, laid down a rule that the heist planner got to be the heist stylist henceforth. And so now that's how it works. 

Peter doesn't mind. Buddy isn't a terrible stylist, as stylists go. But this time as he studies himself in the mirror of his cabin, he can't help but notice the small white scars snaking over his very bare arms. Here, completely alone, he lets the confidence down and blinks back faint tears. He would never tell anyone, especially not Juno, exactly how self-conscious these scars make him feel. _(It's why he has developed a preference for long-sleeved shirts and dresses. It also, annoyingly, means that he can't wear backless dresses anymore)_. The scars are faint, but there are so many of them, a marring where there used to be perfection and smooth skin. He wants to be perfect and unmarred. He wants to be perfect for Juno. 

But there's nothing he can do about it now. He bites his lip, swipes his eyes, and finishes getting dressed, and studies himself in the mirror. The outfit Buddy chose for him is a bottle green dress with a high slit on either side, just high enough to show the knives he has strapped into black garters under the dress. The dress falls not all the way to the floor, so he could run in it if something went wrong. His heels are comfortable, too (that perfect height to allow both style and function and even sprinting). There's a silver ear cuff wound with a chain wound through his piercings and a daffodil earring on each lobe, matching the silver chain necklace with daffodil charm rimming his throat. He's stunning, and he knows that he's stunning. But still, those scars.

He picks up the shawl Buddy laid out and throws it around his shoulders with one arm, as his other arm throws open the door to his room. Juno is waiting in the hall, already dressed in a white tuxedo with a blue tie. The uniform for Opal Palace servers. On Juno, it is dashing - a very standard outfit for an exquisitely standout person. The tie must be too tight because he keeps fidgeting with it, his face scrunching in annoyance, which makes his eyebrows do cute little waves. Peter stands in the doorway while his heart threatens to beat right through his ribs. 

Juno notes his presence. "Oh hey -" he says, looking up. Then he stops. He physically takes a step back, his eyes skirting along Peter's body. He bites down on his bottom lip and scratches the back of his neck. "Uh, wow," he says. "Wow. Okay. Um, you look really -"

Peter has him pinned against the wall a moment later. He waits for Juno's nod of assent and then mashes their lips together. Juno mumbles, "Mm," grabs the thief's shawl and tugs on it, bringing him closer until their lips are pinned so tightly that he's very glad he didn't put lipstick on yet. Peter buries his hands in the lady's curls. He can feel his glasses getting skewed higher up on the bridge of his nose and frankly doesn't care at all. Juno smiles under his mouth, and his hands let go of the shawl and go flat against the thief's shoulder blades. Peter thinks he's going to pull away, but he doesn't, and they keep going. 

 _(Can you tell how much I love you? he would say if his lips weren't otherwise occupied._   _Can you tell how scared I am I'll lose you again? )_

He doesn't want this to ever end.

"Having fun?" says a cool voice from behind them. Peter waits for a split second longer before wrenching his lips away from Juno's. He stands up straight, smooths his dress and beams at a very petulant Buddy and a very embarrassed Rita. 

"Quite," he smirks. Juno is still facing the wall, blushing profusely. "Rita, are you ready to go?"

Rita is in a black skirt and jacket set over a green blouse that matches his dress. She's lovely, really, in the way that Rita always is but doesn't seem to have realized. She fidgets with the fake wedding ring on her finger. Peter has a matching one, which is amusing and unusual. "Yeah, I'm ready!" she says. "Are _you_ , Mistah Arrow?"

Peter arches an eyebrow with a smile.  _(Touché)._ "Completely ready," he says. "I just wanted to cure our dear Juno's jealousy problem before we set out." 

"I'm not jealous!"

Peter winks at him, which makes Juno's blush darken. He can practically feel the heat radiating off of the detective. "Who's driving us?"

"You are," says Buddy. "Vespa will bring Juno in on a pod. He has to be there an hour before you. We're going to orbit the system. Closely, but not too closely. You and Rita will follow in the Ruby7."

"Why do I have to go in early?" Juno asks.

"Because that's when your shift starts."

"When my shift - oh, you have got to be kidding me."

"Vespa is waiting for you," says Buddy. "By the time Fay and Rita arrive, you should have the layout of the restaurant memorized. We've reserved a table for the Blossom couple which is right near the one Sir Magnus frequents. All you have to do is check in from time to time."

"Check in with what?" 

Buddy takes out three clear earpieces and passes them around. "Clip these in, to communicate. And mind you don't lose them. Off you go, Juno dear." 

"Good luck, Mista Steel!" Rita skips forward and gives Juno a hug. "And be really careful, okay? Restaurant work is downright  _dangerous_ , it is, I should know - "

"Rita, dear, Juno is going to miss his pod."

"Sorry Ms. Buddy! Okay, bye Mistah Steel!" 

"Bye, Rita." Juno smiles fondly. 

"I'll walk you to the pod." Peter sweeps past Buddy before she can protest and escorts Juno down the hall. Once they've turned the corner, he ventures, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Don't say you're worried about me."

"I'm always worried about you, Juno, and you know that."

"I know." Juno stops in the hallway. "Hey, do me a favor, okay?"

"Of course."

"Buy Rita some wine or something. She deserves a break."

Peter lifts an eyebrow. "Juno, we're on a heist." 

"I know. But... let her enjoy herself. She's earned it."

"If you say so." He frowns. "Juno... you will be careful, won't you? Rita is right. If they found that you aren't who your ID says, it could end very badly for you."

"I think I can handle myself, Nureyev."

"I  _know_ you think that, which is  _why_ I worry about you." He runs a hand up the lady's arm, and adds, "You idiot," softly, tenderly.

"Fine. I promise I'll be careful. But you promise me something too, okay?"

"Anything." 

"Can we, uh." Juno taps the toe of one shoe against the back of the other and pointedly looks at the floor. "You don't have to say yes, obviously. But I... I thought I'd ask. Just in case. When this heist is over, and I mean, if we're both still  _alive_.... can we go on a date?"

Peter blinks. "A... date?"

"Yeah. Like normal couples do."

"You want to go on a date? With me?"

"I mean, you are my boyfriend, Peter."

_(As if he could forget it.)_

He laughs. "Alright. We can."

"You have to promise." 

He lays a slender hand over his heart. "I, Peter Nureyev, solemnly swear that I will take my lady out to do whatever his heart desires if I survive this heist. How's that?"

"Perfect." And then Juno stands on his toes, grabs Peter by the front of his dress, and kisses him so quickly that Peter doesn't even have the time to be surprised. "Okay, I love you, bye."

Juno disappears down the rest of the hall and into the pod without another word. 

"All set, kid?" asks Vespa as the door slides closed behind him.

"Yeah," he says. "Wait, shoot, do I have my ID?" He checks. He has it. "Yeah, okay. Now I'm all set."

"Buckle up, we're about to leave orbit. This will only be really bumpy for a really long time."

Juno sighs and presses a button to activate the pod's buckle mechanic. "Great." Suddenly something occurs to him.

Wait. 

He just told Peter Nureyev that he loves him. And he meant it.

"Oh my god," he says aloud. 

"Yeah?"

"I just told Fay that I love him."

"So?"

"I've never told him that before." 

Vespa sighs and presses a few buttons on the control panel. "I think he knows already, Steel."

"Yeah, but I didn't even mean to! I just kissed him while I was saying goodbye and - jeez, I just spit it out. I'm such an idiot, damn it, I'm such an idiot!" He punches a button-less part of the table. All the romantic ways he could have said it and he went with this - in the dim hallway of their ship, dressed in some stupid waiter's costume. He's an idiot, he's an idiot, he's an idiot -

"Well, look on the bright side," Vespa offers. "You could always die or be seriously injured on this heist and then not have to live with the embarrassment."

Juno slumps against the arm of his seat and glares out the window while the green-haired woman laughs. This is going to be a long landing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re: my point last chapter about wlw fics not doing very well - I'm actually much more upset about this than I let on. I'm a wlw and I want people to create and recognize fics about female love, and I notice that most podcast fics tend to be about male or male-presenting couples, like Cecilos, Jupeter, Caladam, the list goes on. There's nothing wrong with those ships, and I enjoy them all a lot. But I really want to take some time to create wlw content, since there are so many good female ships in podcast fandoms. 
> 
> So once this fic is over, I'm going to do something called Women Led Week, (get it, the acronym spells out wlw), seven consecutive days of only posting wlw fics. Day one will be Buddy and Vespa from The Penumbra Podcast (which will add on to this series!). Day two will be Alice and Keisha from Alice Isn't Dead (some angst!). Day three will be Hester and Oleta from Within the Wires. Day four will be past Joan Bright and Ellie Wadsworth from The Bright Sessions (unrequited pining!). Day five will be Mabel and Anna from Mabel (I'll have to catch up first). And day six will be Maureen and Michelle from Welcome to Night Vale. For day seven, I'll pick my favorite of these six fics and give it a second chapter. 
> 
> If anyone is interested in joining me on my gay journey, I might consider making this a collection so anyone can post to it. But I'd need to hear at least three people promise to sign on with wlw ships of their choice. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter of THIS fic should go up soon! As always, comments are appreciated.


	3. another lie from the front lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita and Peter arrive at the Opal Palace for the heist. Rita knows more than she lets on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in my last chapter, I teased a fanfic collection for wlw podcast ships. The feedback you guys gave me has been amazing. So, I'm very excited to announce that the wlw collection will go live on April 7th and will run through April 13th. I'm going to work on promoting it, and I'd like to build a team to help me make this thing big. So if you want to get involved, you can email me with the address on my profile. In the meantime, I have a lot of podcasts to catch up on XD. 
> 
> (holy crap you guys were right Second Citadel is amazing and you WILL be seeing Damien/Rilla/Arum fic from me at some point). 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> Please be advised that this chapter references to past abusive relationships, including violence.

_The call came at one in the morning. Rita was already awake, watching a show on coms since her boss had very unfairly laid down a new rule against watching shows while she was on the clock, which meant she had to work in her tv-watching while she was off the clock. She paused the show and flicked the coms over to take the call. "Hello?"_

_Her screen crackled the call to life. It showed her boss, standing outside their office."Hey, Rita," said Juno. "I, uh... I need to ask you a favor."_

_"Oh really?" She frowned. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be awake right now! You ain't my favorite person right now, Mistah I'm-not-lettin'-my-secretary-watch-her-favorite-shows."_

_"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said Juno distractedly. "But I - I really need your help." He gestured to the closed door behind him. "See, I, uh... I can't get into the office. I left my key in my apartment."_

_Rita's eyebrows knitted together. She leaned closer to the coms screen. "Why not go back for it? Actually, Mistah Steel, why ain't you at your apartment right now?"_

_"I, uh." Juno turned to look at the closed door, scratched his neck. "I... the thing is, I can't really go back to the apartment right now."_

_"Okayyyy, so why don'tcha call your new boyfriend and ask him to  -"  
_

_At the words 'new boyfriend', Juno flinched. Rita stopped talking and considered, and as she did that she noticed the bruise on the side of Juno's face. Like he hit it against a wall or the edge of a table. An ugly dark mark against not-exactly-smooth skin._

_"Mistah Steel... did you have a fight with your boyfriend?"_

_"He's not my boyfriend anymore. He -" Juno stopped and drew in his breath, then let it out slowly. "He'll be gone soon. But right now I... I think I need to sleep in the office. Just while he gets his stuff out of my apartment."_

_Rita's frown deepened. She didn't like Juno's boyfriend, had never liked him. And lately, Juno had been staying later and later at the office, and talking to Rita less and less. Something was wrong at home. She could tell. Something he hadn't worked up the courage to fix until, apparently, now. Her heart wrenched. Her boss looked so sad, so helpless, and so very scared._

_"If you kicked him out -" she began._

_"I didn't kick him out, well not exactly, I just told him he had to go and I ran off, but I'm not sure if he's cleared out or not yet, I... Whatever. Can you just bring me the office key? Please, Rita?"_

_"Nuh-uh." She picked up her keys from her counter on their pink lanyard and slung the lanyard around her neck. "You're comin' over to my apartment, Mistah Steel, and ya can sleep on my couch. If your boyfriend's really angry then your office might not be safe."_

_"But -"_

_"No buts, Mistah Steel. I'm headin' over there now, so you just hold tight, okay?"_

_He paused. For a moment she worried he would protest further. Then he said, "Okay." He sounded defeated._

_"Okay, Mistah Steel. See ya soon." She hung up the call and got into her car. Ten minutes later, she pulled up outside the office. Juno was waiting for her on the steps of his office, sitting on the stoop with his head between his knees. Rita got him into the passenger seat and drove them both to her apartment in total silence. Her boss said nothing as she parked her car on the second-level garage, said nothing as she unlocked her apartment door, said nothing as she let him in._

_"I'm gonna get my couch made up for you, Mistah Steel. Meanwhile, I wantcha to go into the bathroom and get some bandages or gauze or somethin' for that bruise. Okay?"_

_"...okay."_

_He slumped off to her bathroom and closed the door behind him, and she went to her hallway cupboard for some spare blankets. When she came back into the living room, she paused and listened. Through the wall the living room shared with the bathroom, she could hear Juno. He was crying._

 

Rita sits in the passenger seat of the Ruby7 and looks out the window, at outer space just outside the car. The lights of the spaceship that has become her home fade until they are lost in a sea of other lights. It's weird, being off the ship after so long on board. 

"Lovely view, isn't it?" remarks the thief from the driver's seat. 

Rita eyes him warily. He looks pretty enough, with his tight red dress and his perfectly styled hair and his crazy long legs and those creepy sharp teeth. Rita's not sure what to think of him. The guy is like a rose - yes, she thinks, proud of herself for coming up with that - he's exactly like a rose. Looks super pretty and smells great. But could cut you without mercy if he had to. And now she's pretending to be married to him. Life's just full of surprises. 

"Yeah," she says. "Real nice view." She shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Well, now that she has him here, she might as well try to get some information out of him. "So, uh," she says at length. "We're fake married. You ever been really married?"

The man who is not actually named Fay Arrow laughs. Not in a mean way, but as if he genuinely finds that funny. "No, never. Certainly not to a woman," he adds, flicking a friendly smile at Rita. "No offense, Rita dear, but you really aren't my type."

"Oh, no no no, I wasn't flirting with ya!" Rita blushes all over. "You ain't my type either, Mistah Arrow. You're too... uh, you're just too much." 

He chuckles. "So I've been told." 

They sit in silence for another moment. Rita ventures again. "Sooooo, first time I met you, ya pretended to be from Dark Matters," she says. "Why were ya pretending to be Rex Glass?"

"Oh, that? I wanted in on the Kanagawa case, and posing as a Dark Matters agent was the best way I could think of. They had something I needed."

"Did you get it?"

"Well, that's not really your concern, is it?"

"Hmf." 

"Let me ask you a question." He swerves the wheel of the Ruby7, dodging the car around a very small meteor that Rita hadn't even noticed. "How long have you worked for Juno?"

"Oh! Me and Mistah Steel, we go waaaaay back. See, he needed a secretary and I needed a job, and well I showed up and there wasn't nobody that could do any of the stuff he needed as well as I could, but he didn't really  _wan_ na hire me, except I gave him no choice! Because I really needed a job! And so -"

"I'm regretting my question," said the thief, but Rita ignored him and kept talking. 

"-and so one thing led to another, he didn't fire me, and now I still work for him! I mean, I bought him his office so he didn't really have much of a choice, but yeah! And we're real happy together even though now he ain't my boss anymore since we're on the same team. I guess now Buddy is my boss. Hey, is Buddy your boss too?"

"No, I am my own boss."

"Huh. Wait, am I my own boss then too?" She hasn't considered that before. The thief gets a few seconds of silence while Rita ponders that, and then decides the pondering can be saved for another time and pushes it out of her mind. "So if I'm my own boss -"

"Oh look, there's the Diana System. Quiet now, please, I shall have to concentrate on landing properly."

Rita slumps in her seat and crosses her arms. "You're about the most deadbeat husband anybody could've asked for," she grumbles, just loudly enough that the man who is not really Fay Arrow can hear it. 

 

The Opal Palace kitchen, an hour into Casey Simon's shift. Also known as an hour into the worst day of Juno Steel's life. 

"I NEED A RUNNER TO TABLE 47!" shouts the man by the expo line. "RUNNER TO TABLE 47 NOW!" 

"I've got it," shout two servers simultaneously. They both dive for the plate of steak. One of them gets there first and she sweeps out the door, and then as the other server retreats a third server bumps into him on their way to the dish rack. Red wine splashes over both of them. 

"Isn't Table 47 my table?" mumbles Juno weakly. 

"Exactly, which is why you're supposed to be following with the filet!" The man on the expo line waves a dish towel at Juno in a very threatening way. "Hello? Wake the hell up, Simons! I said to follow to 47 with the filet!"

"Oh yeah." Juno grabs the plate of filet as the cook on the other side of the line shoves it over to him. Before he can exit into the dining room, the expo man's meaty hand clamps down on Juno's shoulder.

"What the hell, Simons? Are we just not putting any butter on top of the filet now? YOU HAVE TO PREP YOUR DISH FIRST, YOU IDIOT! It takes you two seconds!"

"Oh, right, right. I knew that." Juno turns back to the long row of metal tins, containing the various toppings, and no less than four different kinds of butter. "I totally knew that."

 

Aria and Narcissus Blossom are seated promptly by a young woman with a blank expression. Hosts and servers do not smile at high-end restaurants. That way, the wealthy people who frequent the restaurants do not have to think of them as human, and thus do not feel bad for refusing to tip them a small fragment of their inexhaustible bank accounts. It's an ideal system. 

Rita practically snatches the menu out of the woman's hand and flips it open. "Ooh, I'm so excited," she squeals, ruffling pages. "I ain't  _never_ eaten in a fancy restaurant before, what should I get? Can I get appetizers and desserts too?"

"Get whatever you like," Peter replies, but he isn't focused on her. His dark eyes sweep the restaurant around them. From this vantage point, he only has to watch two directions - the advantage of a corner booth. The disadvantage is that if some kind of fight broke out, they would be cornered.  _(But he's not going to think about a fight.)_ Narcissus Blossom never worries about fights breaking out while he eats dinner. Narcissus Blossom never worries about much of anything. 

A server, not Juno, comes over and asks what they'd like to drink. The server is not wearing a name tag, and she does not tell them her name. All in the system of dehumanization. Rita sits up very straight and looks at the server over the bridge of her glasses. "I," she says. "Will take a  _glass_ of  _red_ wine. Please, uh - please _s_ _ee to it_ that the wine is red. Not white."

"Uh, of course," says the server, slightly baffled. Peter orders a flute of champagne disinterestedly and the server floats away. 

"How was that? Did I seem enough like a rich person?"

"Exactly like one." Peter tries not to look amused. "Now, Sir Magnus should be arriving soon. Do you have the server hacked into yet?"

"Oh, of course! Did it before we even landed."

"That's... quite impressive. Well done." He focuses his eyes across the restaurant, where Juno has just emerged from the kitchen. The detective has a tray of drinks balanced awkwardly on his hand and he looks miserable. Peter taps his earpiece. "How are you doing, Juno?" 

He sees the detective flinch slightly, which makes the drinks wobble... It looks like someone won't be getting their chateau. "Yeah, doing fine, thanks," Juno's voice grouses in his ear. "Just hurry up and get what you need, okay? I haven't hated a restaurant this much since a robot tried to kill me in one last year. And then I went back to that one for drinks." 

"Well, it sounds like you're having much more activity than us, dearest." Peter hopes the amusement isn't obvious in his voice.

"Yeah, Mistah Steel, Sir Magnus ain't even shown up yet."

" _What."_

"I do hope he arrives at some point," remarks Peter. "Or else we'll have to do this heist all over again on another day."

"Yeah? Well, if we do, you're the server next time, you hear me?"

"Perfectly. Our drinks are coming over, I must cut you off."

"But -"

"Ta-ta, Casey Simons. Enjoy the rest of your shift."

He switches off the earpiece. "He's probably really anxious back there," Rita says, as she takes her drink from the server without looking at the woman. Peter decides not to point out that he himself is really anxious up here. All these people, all the ways this could go wrong - all the sharp knives lying on tables, with the ability to send his heist to hell and cut steak within the same minute. But he doesn't mention any of that to Rita. Narcissus Blossom hardly tells his wife anything. He is reserved. He is composed. No one is close enough to hear their conversation, but he keeps his body language tailored to that image of composure.  _(Deft, assured movements. Sitting up straight, but not primly. Eyes impassive.)_ He sips his champagne and half-listens as Rita orders the food she wants. It turns out that she wants a lot of food. 

"Do you think they'll let us take some home at the end?" she asks once the server is gone. "You know, in a to-go box?"

"I doubt we'll be here long enough to request a to-go box."

"Oh." 

"But fortunately for you, I have a collapsible box in my pocket, so you can steal whatever you want before we leave."

He thought she'd like that, but Rita frowns instead. "Steal stuff? Me?"

"You're certainly capable of it."

Her eyes narrow. "Listen, Mistah Arrow," she says, jabbing an accusator finger in his direction. "You may have corrupted Juno into stealing stuff, but you ain't gonna corrupt me too. Don't pretend," she continues, as he starts to speak. "I saw the painting in his cabin. It wasn't there before, so it don't take a genius to figure out where it came from. You got him to steal it, didn'tcha? Or you stole it for him, or something, as a present?" 

"I-"

"And that's another thing! You and Mistah Steel. I've never heard of you since the Rex Glass thing, but suddenly you two have all this history. How come you weren't talking to each other for the first few weeks on this heist, but now you're all over him all the time, huh? Oh, and how come he lets you play with his hair? 'Cause Mistah Steel never lets  _no_ _body_ touch his hair, he's real defensive about it!"

"My dear young hacker, I really don't think we should be having this conversation in public -"

She groans, whips out her screen, and presses a few buttons and keys. "There, I rewired the music speakers around our booth to make an electric dead zone." She keeps talking before he even has time to be impressed. "Nobody can hear what we're sayin' now. Point is, Mistah Arrow, I ain't sure I can trust you." 

"Isn't it enough that Juno trusts me? He is my partner, not you."

"Well, Mistah Steel has a terrible taste in boyfriends. You wouldn't be the first bad one."

"I... what? Rita -"

But now that she's started, she doesn't seem able to stop. "You heard me! Mistah Steel's had some real bad people in his life, he's been hurt in the past - he's been hurt a  _lot_! And you may get to be his boyfriend but you ain't his best friend, I'm his best friend, and I don't trust you! You're dangerous, and I'm not gonna let you hurt him, Mistah ** _Nureyev_** , and-" 

She stops abruptly and clamps her hand over her mouth. Peter is frozen, alarms sounding in every inch of his skin. He stares at her as they both slowly register the last word of her sentence. How does she know his name? How _can_ she know?

_("...Well, shit," he thinks.)_

 

Sir Magnus arrives. This is apparently a big deal. 

"Start Sir Magnus's usual drink order," says the expo man to a busser, who runs out to deliver the drink order to the bartender. 

"Cancel Sir Magnus's usual drink order!" shouts the server who just saw Sir Magnus. "He wants claret this time!" 

"Cancel the drink order!" repeats the expo. "You, go after that busser and tell him to tell the bartender to make claret instead! Quick, we only have two minutes! Simons, what are you standing around gawking for? Start prepping your plates!"

Juno takes the plates for his tables and preps them as best he can based on the little he's been able to pick up. "So," he says to another server over the commotion. "This Sir Magnus. Important guy?"

The server snorts. "You must be new," they say. "Sir Magnus is the owner of this entire system."

"Oh yeah? And he invests in other systems?"

Their brow furrows. "How did you know that?"

"Lucky guess."

"Yeah, he invests in other systems. I've heard he has some stuff on Mars. Anyway, he comes in here most nights, and if he's not satisfied, we're all out of a job. He could tear the whole place down and build a new one, with a whole new staff, before we even blinked."

"Sounds like a scary guy. Anything else you know about him?"

"Why are you so interested?"

"SIMONS!" shouts the man behind Juno. "YOUR PLATES! NOW!"

Juno curses and runs off with the un-prepped plates. The kitchen shouts of "RUNNER TO TABLE 98! FOLLOW RUNNER TO TABLE 98!" fade as he stumbles into the dining room. Here, the air is slow with cigarette smoke and murmured conversation. Beautiful, wealthy people chatter to each other over the low thrum of live music. It's like stepping into a different world. 

He looks over at Peter and Rita. They're engaged in some deep conversation that he can't hear. The thief is composed, as always, but Rita seems agitated by something. The infamous Sir Magnus sits at a table near them, looking surprisingly normal as he sips his glass of claret. So that's the man who helped create the THEIA souls. Juno's not sure what he was expecting. Now he just hopes Rita can do her thing and get the plans before anything bad happens -

Three figures arrive at Sir Magnus's table. His heart nearly stops.

 

Rita and Nureyev are torn abruptly from their conversation by the arrival of three figures near them. "Sir Magnus," says a dark-suited man. He takes out a badge and gestures to his companions, another dark-suited man and a dark-suited woman. "You sent for us." 

"Who are they?" Rita hisses, even though she already knows. If not who they are, at least who they work for. "What are they doin' here?"

"I'm not sure." Nureyev taps his earpiece discreetly. "Look at me, Rita. Turn on your signal but make it look like you're talking to me. Juno, my darling?" he says. "Have you seen this?" 

"I've seen it," Juno says grimly in their ears. "Rita?"

"I know, Mistah Steel." Rita feels a heavy lump settle in her throat. Sir Magnus shakes hands with the dark-suited figures as they sit down at his table. One of them says something about the best protection Mars can offer him. He replies with something about expecting a robbery planned against him. 

"Well, Dark Matters has joined the party," says Nureyev. He doesn't sound 100% composed. He sounds maybe 98% composed, and that scares Rita more than anything. "This should be entertaining."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you couldn't tell from the bitterness in this chapter, the writer works in a restaurant and she hates it. I /hate/ it. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed this, and hope you're as excited for wlw week as I am!
> 
> (I am aware that I said Peter's dress was red in this chapter but green in the last one. In a previous fic, I established that Peter is red/green colorblind in my universe. So there you go, everything I do is done with intention. Well, 80% of what I do. 76%. Yeah, 76 sounds about right.)


	4. our backs against the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who just got turned down from all four of her top schools :))))))
> 
> I seem to have a minor obsession with Peter sexily smoking cigarettes?
> 
> no editing we die as men (we die as men in this chapter because a lot of men die in this chapter)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING  
> Lots and lots of violence.

Peter watches the Dark Matters agents settle in at the table. After a moment it becomes apparent that they aren't planning to cause immediate injury to him or to Rita, as they order themselves drinks and begin a conversation with Sir Magnus.

"Maybe... they're just here for drinks?" Rita offers weakly. 

"Perhaps." Right. He'll keep an eye on them and worry about that in a moment. In the meantime, he flips open the latch on his clutch, pulls out a box of cigarettes and a small red lighter. "So," he says, bringing the cigarette to his lips. He lights it and inhales the smoke. "Assuming that your electronic dead zone is holding up, may I ask how exactly you know my name?" 

Rita squirms in her seat. "I, uh," she says. "You gotta promise you ain't gonna get mad at me."

"I can't make any promises, I'm afraid, but I shall do my best."

"Well... see, the thing is, I kinda was hidin' in the storage area in the cockpit when you and Mistah Steel made out on the control panel - don't make that face!" she adds quickly as he lifts his eyebrows. "I was in there mindin' my own business watchin' my show and then you two just burst in without warning and I had to hide real quick!"

"I see. And you heard him say my name."

"Yeah." 

"Hmm." He exhales, the smoke spiraling in a slow coil towards the ceiling and wreathing his face. "Is that... all you know?"

"I mean, I still don't know who ya are," she says. "Or how you know Mistah Steel, or what your past is or... whatever. That's all so far." 

"Ah."

"Lemme just say somethin'." She clears her throat. "I'm real sorry that I know your big secret or whateva. I can tell you'd rather keep it secret. But Mistah Steel is my best friend, okay? Jet and Buddy and Vespa, they're all real nice, but I've only known 'em for a little while. Mistah Steel's been my best friend for years. I... I love him okay?! He's the best boss a girl could ask for, and you're really really lucky to be with him. And I wanna make sure you ain't gonna take him for granted. That you ain't gonna hurt him like people have before. I wanna know I can trust you. Anyway."

She finishes talking and drops her eyes to her lap. Peter stays the way he is, legs crossed, one arm folded, the other slightly extended with the cigarette between two fingers. He watches Rita wring her napkin between her hands. It takes the arrival of three plates of food to draw her attention. She nibbles solemnly on a breadstick and doesn't look at him. 

"Peter," he says. 

She swallows the bite of bread and looks up. "Huh?"

"You know my last name. I thought you might want to know my first name." He shrugs. "It's Peter."

"Oh." She processes this in her head, then grins. "That's a nice name! Thanks for telling me."

"Certainly. Now, I've come up with a plan, so please be ready to put your excellent hacking skills to work."

She takes out her screen discreetly, with the kind of grin that can only be described as criminal. "Thought you'd never ask, Mistah Nureyev."

 

If Juno were actually working in this restaurant, he would quit in frustration, because these Dark Matters folks are the pickiest eaters he's ever encountered and, for some unthinkable reason he's been assigned as their server. This is bad, not only because Dark Matters will probably recognize the detective that's worked with them in the past, but also because Juno really can't afford another mess-up tonight. 

"Why'd you have to send me to their table  _after_ they ordered drinks?!" he asks helplessly. "Drinks are about the only thing I can keep straight!"

"I'm not sure you can keep anything straight, Simons," the man snaps back. "You somehow confused butter for sour cream!"

"Yeah, well... they're both white and creamy..."

"Whatever. Just go take their dinner orders and get back here double quick. If they walk out it's your pay being docked, you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you," he grumbles as he heads out the door again. The Dark Matters agents are seated at Sir Magnus's table, all four of them involved in a deep conversation. Juno approaches slowly to hear as much as he can. From the sound of it, they're expecting a robbery. The robbery his boyfriend and best friend, seated in the table five feet away, are about to commit. Juno spares a glance at them and immediately has to tear his eyes away. Peter is absolutely stunning, in that perfectly fitting red dress, cigarette smoke framing his soft face. Juno loves him so much. He wonders if the man even knows how much. 

_Focus, Steel. You'll have plenty of time to look at him later._

"...after all you've done for our late mayor," the Dark Matters woman is saying. "I can assure you, you're in excellent hands." Those excellent hands are currently gripping not one but two different glasses of wine. All four of the table's occupants look up as Juno approaches. He fumbles in his apron pocket. 

"Hi. Um, hi, I'm Casey -" He drops the pen. "Oh, sorry about that - um, hi, I'm Casey, and I'm going to be your server for the evening so, uh..."

"Excuse me," says the man on the left. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

_Oh no oh no oh no oh no._

"Huh?" he says. "Nah, I get that a lot. Got one of those familiar faces, I guess." 

"No, wait," says the other Dark Matters man. "You look kind of familiar to me too." 

"What? Haha, see what I mean! Familiar face! Can I get you anything?"

"...no," says the first man, though he still eyes Juno suspiciously over the rim of his drink. "It will come to me eventually. Actually, could we have another bottle of this?"

"Yeah, of course!" And Juno runs away, hopefully disguising his hurry as a desire to get back to the kitchen quickly, rather than a desire to put as much distance between himself and the Dark Matters agent as possible. He ducks into the back by the dish rack, where robotic arms sort plates and cups into the machines, and taps his earpiece. "Hey, guys? We have an enormous problem." 

"So I heard," replies Peter's smooth voice. He sounds assured, self-confident. The familiar warmth of his voice soothed Juno ever so slightly. "Luckily, Rita is nearly done with the hacking process."

"Mistah Steel, ya wouldn't believe this!" says Rita's voice excitedly. "It was soooo clever! See, I have the screen under the table, an' I'm usin' it without looking at it, but I'm still close enough to get into Sir Magnus's files and he ain't even gonna notice because I rewired the speakers around this table to -"

"Yeah, great, Rita," Juno interrupts, "how soon are you going to have that done?" 

"Listen, me an' Mistah Nureyev are just doing the best we can, okay?"

"Wait - you know his name?" 

"We'll discuss that later. This is the part where you come in, Juno," says Peter. "Now that Rita's downloading the files we need you to distract Sir Magnus while we make our escape."

"While you - hang on." He forces his brain away from the confused and slightly jealous part of him trying to wrap his brain around the fact that Rita knows Peter's name. 

"Once the files finish transferring to us, Rita and I must clear out as soon as possible. It's entirely likely that Sir Magnus has some kind of alarm system rigged to alert him when his data has been compromised. You need to create some diversion. Dump a bottle of wine on him, perhaps. Then run out the back door of the kitchen and head to the edge of the oxygen sphere so we can pick you up."

"There's a lot that could go wrong in there, Nureyev." 

"True, but for the sake of this plan let's hope none of it does, shall we? I'll give you the signal when."

"But -"

"Trust me, Juno. Have I ever steered you wrong before." 

He considers that. "Okay, no, I guess not, but -"

"I'll give you the signal when we're ready. Try to stay alive until then, please." The signal cuts out. Juno sighs and goes back into the kitchen, pointedly ignoring the order from the Dark Matters agent. The sooner he's out of here and back on the ship, the better. This place is stressing him out. 

 

Peter watches Rita through the gathering smoke. "Anything yet?"

She glances down to her lap and grins that vaguely evil grin again. "We got about five more minutes, Mistah Nureyev. You hang tight."

He tilts his face towards the neighboring table and resumes eavesdropping on their conversation. The agents are chatting with Sir Magnus about whatever business it is that brought them to this quadrant of the galaxy. From what Peter can piece together, it seems like Magnus called them in especially for protection tonight. They may be the worst bodyguards he's ever seen, but they are bodyguards nonetheless, and he'd be lying if he tried to claim he was completely steady.  _(Luckily, he's something of an expert in lying)._

Their talk turns to a decidedly more dangerous area when one of them mentions "that server". Peter leans slightly closer to hear better. "There was, I don't know, something familiar in that guy's face," the first man says. 

"We see tons of faces," says the woman. 

"Yeah, and I've never forgotten one before. Something seems suspicious here..."

Peter's heart beats a little more quickly as he realizes Sir Magnus is looking at him. No, not at him. At Rita. 

"Rita?" he says, not letting his expression or posture alter at all. "Please hurry that up, if you can."

"Yeah, I'm working on it."

"Hasn't he been in the Mars offices before?" asks the second agent. "I feel like I've seen him there before."

"Now that you mention it, that sounds familiar." The woman casts a glance at the door of the kicthen, where Juno had gone. "Wasn't that the guy who was friends with Sasha?"

"Yeah, he used to help her with cases. What happened to him?"

"Why not look it up?" suggests Sir Magnus, who is still looking at Rita with narrowed eyes. _(He's onto them. He's definitely on to them_.) "You have a database, don't you?"

"Rita," Peter hisses.

"Wait, I remember now." The first man snaps his fingers and pounds on the table, once, a pleased smile across his face. "Juno Steel!"

"That was the guy who disappeared after the whole O'Flaherty thing happened, isn't he on our wanted list now or something?" The woman frowns. 

"Rita, whether you have that data or not, we have to go now," says Peter. He grabs his clutch and gets ready to walk away as the hacker makes some protest, that she's almost done. He stands up, and that's when the alarm starts going off at Sir Magnus's table. At the same moment, an alarm goes off under their table. An alarm on Rita's screen.

"Oh no!" Rita exclaims. Her voice suddenly sounds much louder, and Peter realizes the electric barrier is down. He freezes in place, half-standing, as all three Dark Matters agents lock their eyes on him. 

Sir Magnus, still sitting, looks down at his comms. "Ah, look at that. A remote security breach" he says. He points directly to Peter and Rita. "Arrest them."

Peter goes into instinctual survival mode. As the Dark Matters agents step towards him, he grabs Rita by her wrist, pulls her into the aisle between the tables, and starts running. Instantly the patrons of the restaurant buzz with chatter, but he ignores them as he sprints past their tables. The Dark Matters people are after him in a moment, the pounding of two heavy sets of their footsteps right behind him. He can hear Rita huffing at his side. She's still clutching her comms. 

"THIS ESTABLISHMENT IS UNDER LOCKDOWN," proclaims a voice from a hidden loudspeaker. "ALL PATRONS ARE INSTRUCTED TO EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY." As it speaks, one of the servers jumps into Peter's path with a menacing expression. He sighs.  _(Of course. Of course some of the servers are bodyguards in disguise)._ He changes course and starts running another way. Patrons of the restaurant stream out of booths, upending tables and chairs. And then he hears a gun draw behind him. 

"Hands up!" shouts the first Dark Matters man. Peter grits his teeth as he and Rita keep running. He knocks over a table behind them to slow their pursuers down and darts his gaze over the restaurant. The door blocked by people streaming through it, the windows being electronically shuttered, many of the servers approaching him with a dangerous look in their eyes.

_(This is really not how I wanted tonight to go.)_

"Change of plans. You keep running," he directs Rita, and then he turns around and charges right back towards the Dark Matters people. 

"BUT MISTAH N-"

"I said keep running!" He doesn't turn to see if she does it or not. He shoves past the people fleeing in panic, vaults neatly over one of the upturned tables, and lands on the back of one that is still right-side up. The agents all look surprised. He savors that as he takes out two knives, slowly. "Evening, gentlemen," he says. 

"We know you're after the data." 

"A keen observation." He points a knife behind the man. "Might I make another?"

"You think you're going to get me to turn around so you can stab me? Fat chance."  _(Oh well, it was worth a try.)_ Both men train their guns on him. "Now you put your hands up now or you're really going to regret this."

"Go ahead. Not the first time I've been shot at." 

The Dark Matters agent seems to consider it. Then he lifts his radio. Peter realizes that the female agent is absent and that this man is presumably radioing her. "Go into the back and kill Juno Steel," the man says. 

_(No.)_

In an instant, Peter is off the table. He throws one knife in mid-air, but it deflects off of the agent's bulky protective armor. The man just laughs and raises his gun again. "That bothers you, huh?" he says. Peter snarls and lunges at him. He ducks the laser bolt that pings through the air right above his ear and slashes upward with his knife, nearly cutting across the man's chin but just barely missing as his opponent dodges. The other agent is behind him now, he can tell, and he swings his leg up in a kick that ends with a very satisfying crunch under his high heel. The man staggers back, nose bloody. Peter dodges another laser bolt and scrambles to his feet. Already his hands are freeing a third knife.  _(He has to get to Juno.)_  

"I need backup," says the agent into his radio. He shoots again. Peter gasps as the heat of the laser bolt tears across his side, slicing his dress and grazing his skin. He knocks over another table and keeps running, but trips suddenly as a chair is thrown across his path.  _(No, no, no, every second here is a second Juno could be hurt -)_

"Going somewhere?" asks the leering voice of Sir Magnus. Peter didn't even see him, and he barely sees him now as the surprisingly strong man throws backward. He hits a table hard and falls into a graceless heap on the floor. Then there's a hand on his wrist, dragging him up halfway. The first Dark Matters agent kicks him in the stomach and puts the barrel of the gun under his chin. "Huh," he says. "I don't think I've ever seen you before." Peter tries to twist free, but then there's a second hand grabbing his other wrist. The other agent glowers, blood dripping down his nose. He squeezes the thief's wrist until his fingers flex open and his knife clatters to the floor. Sir Magnus watches calmly from nearby. 

"Sir," says the bloody agent. "I am not aware of this system's arrest procedure for captured disturbers of the peace, sir." Peter drives his nails into the back of the man's wrist while he's distracted, and the agent released him with a surprised cry. He twists free of the second agent and starts to run, but then one of the server bodyguards dives in and blocks his path. He turns around to see another, and the Dark Matters agents, and Sir Magnus, all fencing him in. _(Juno could be dead already.)_ He charges towards the least competent looking, with another knife out, but then the man pulls out a gun from a hidden pocket Peter hadn't noticed.

Without hesitation, the bodyguard shoots Peter Nureyev in the heart.

Peter stops. Ice creeps over his limbs, like his blood is slowly freezing. He staggers back and then collapses against a table.  _(Well, it looks like this is it.)_ Twenty years of thieving and this is how he dies, on the floor of a restaurant, unable to save the only person he's ever loved. His fingertips scrape at the front of his dress, as he hopes that maybe he can stop the bleeding, only to realize there is no blood. Just cool, throbbing numbness. The gun was set to stun. 

Sir Magnus strolls over and leans on his cane, studying Peter like an artifact on display in a museum. "I am the owner of this system and therefore I dictate protocol." 

Peter invokes the spirit of Juno Steel and spits blood in the man's face. 

"No need to be so rude," the man chuckles darkly. He glances at the Dark Matters agent. "You may kill him in a moment. Well, thief? Any last words?" 

_(If Juno is dead anyway what does he have left to live for?)_

"In fact," he says, "I do have one." Every word is a struggle. 

"I'm all ears."

He glances at the Dark Matters agent. "Kindly reach into my coat pocket."

The man looks at Sir Magnus, who nods. He does as Peter said and pulls out a small, circular object. "It's a tube of lipstick?"

"No," says Peter. "It is a time bomb disguised as a tube of lipstick, and it's currently counting down the seconds until all of the explosives I rigged around this restaurant go off. Which will be in, oh, five minutes."

"You're bluffing."

Peter shrugs. "I wish I were, my good man. The plan was for me to deactivate the device after obtaining Sir Magnus's data, but unfortunately, that no longer appears to be an option. If you're going to kill me, I would rather die in style than have my final resting place obliterated into ash. But there we are. I simply have no way to stop the explosive."

A flicker of fear crosses the agent's face. Peter can see it even with the dark glasses. He puts the tube of lipstick on a table and points his gun at it. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," says Peter. "If the device is destroyed, the bombs all go off at once." 

"Don't shoot!" shouts one of the bodyguards. The other bodyguards are already running. _(Not very well trained, it seems.)_ "What if he's telling the truth?!"

"There's only one solution, really." Peter grins. "You'll simply have to wait for the stun blast to wear off so that I can stop the bombs myself." Already he can feel warmth creeping back into his limbs. There's only one thing that can make a stun blast wear off more quickly, and that's adrenaline. 

So as the other men eye the lipstick tube warily, Peter closes his eyes and thinks of Juno. He remembers cutting their way through the walls of a high-speed train. He remembers how he felt when he was certain he was about to hear Juno die through the door of the underground room. He remembers their trip to Earth a few weeks back, how the sunset looked reflected in the darkness of Juno's eye. He thinks of Juno's laugh, his skin, his smile, so hard to draw out of him but so rewarding when he could. And then he makes himself consider the terrible future. The Dark Matters woman could be fighting Juno right now. The Dark Matters woman could be killing Juno right now. Juno, dying in the back of a restaurant, scared and alone. 

_(Peter has to get to him.)_

Warmth pumps back into his body, like hot water melting ice. As his enemies are distracted, Peter inches his fingers slowly down to his leg, to his very last knife sheathed into place. He climbs silently to his feet and approaches the man who radioed the agent, telling her to kill Juno. The man seems to sense Peter behind him, and he turns around at the last second -

"You die first," says Peter, and he rams the knife through the agent's neck. 

The man is dead before he hits the floor, but Peter doesn't wait around to see that. He grabs the dead man's gun, wrenches it out of his still hands, and opens fire. Guns are bulky, inhumane, uncivilized, but they're effective, and if this is what he has to do to get to Juno, so be it. He shoots the other Dark Matters agent in the face, twice, and then the gun is out of laser cartridges so he spins it around and rams the back of it into the stomach of the bodyguard who tries to grab him. The man doubles over, and Peter grabs a steak knife from the nearest table and stabs it into the man's bent back. He drops both knife and man and vaults the table. Sir Magnus stands paralyzed with fear, still holding his cane. He starts to run, but Peter gets to him and kicks him down. He stabs the man's arm and snatches the cane, and he hits him with it again and again and again, blinded by fury until suddenly he remembers -

_(He has to get to Juno.)_

Peter drops the cane and stumbles back, shocked at the sight of what he's done. Sir Magnus lies at his feet in a puddle of blood. He's alive, and he's in mortal terror.

"Please," he croaks. "I will give you anything you want."

Peter looks at the dead men lying nearby. Two of them are on the ground, and the first Dark Matters agent is slumped against a half-turned table. His eyes are still open. Peter looks at the half-dead man lying on the floor. A pitiful man, really, one who accumulated wealth until the stacks of cash were tall enough for him to hide behind. A man who only now has realized that his money can't save him. Peter looks at him for a long moment. Then he walks back a few paces, retrieves his knives and lipstick. He strolls to Sir Magnus and crouches next to him. 

"You'll give me anything I want?" he says. 

"Yes. Please - " Magnus points with a trembling, bloody finger. "The bomb. Deactivate it." 

Peter picks up the man's cane and looks into the shiny gold surface on its head. Then he uncaps the lipstick and paints a fresh coat across his mouth with the reflection. "This," he says. "Is a tube of lipstick." He drops the cane on the floor next to Sir Magnus. "You get to live. Ta-ta." 

And he runs to the back of the restaurant without another word. 

 

The back of a restaurant is a mess. Several of the servers lie dead on the ground. The Dark Matters woman also lies dead. She seems to have killed them before one of them killed her. Whoever it was, Peter will never know. Trays and glasses and plates are strewn through the wreckage, with thin red wine pooling up against thick red blood. Peter picks his way through.

"Juno?" he calls. "Juno! Juno!"

One of the dish machines is completely knocked down. He climbs over it with straining arms. Now that the adrenaline is gone, the stun blast's effects are taking hold again. His heart races. "Juno, please answer me, Juno-"

"Peter!" calls a faint voice. Peter stops atop the machine. 

"Juno?"

"Down here."

He climbs down and goes around the corner. Back here there are stacks of extra plates, most of them knocked over and broken. He walks around the stack, to where he heard the voice -

-and sees Juno standing there with the front of his shirt covered in blood. 

 _(Oh my god,_   _he thinks, I'm going to lose him.)_

"Juno!" he shrieks. He runs to the lady and pulls off his shawl to use as a tourniquet. "Are you alright? Where are you hurt? Are they -" A thought comes to him, and he pulls out a knife. "Where are they? Are they still here? Who hurt you?"

"Peter," says Juno weakly. Peter turns back to him, tears stinging in his eyes. Well, this is it. Juno is going to die and he's going to have to watch. He pulls him close and buries his face in Juno's hair, and as he does that he feels some of the blood soak into his dress. "Peter, I'm not actually hurt,"  Juno mumbles against his bare shoulder. 

"You're... not?"

"No. One of the other servers tripped and dumped a rare steak on me."

Oh.

"Oh." He laughs and hugs Juno tighter. "You're really not hurt?"

"Nah, I'm fine." Juno pulls back and studies him. "Whoa, it doesn't look like you are, though." His fingertips coast at the laser blast on Peter's waist, at the scrape across his cheek. "You've got, like, seven different injuries going on here."

"Oh, I'm quite alright. Don't worry about me." He sniffs, dragging a hand across the tears trailing on his face. "I thought you were dead."

"Yeah, and I thought you were dead. We really need to stop scaring each other so much."

"Agreed." Peter pulls Juno into a hug again and buries his face in his neck. "I love you," he whispers.

Juno hugs him back. "I love you too, Peter."

They stay like that for a little while. Then Peter pulls back and turns to look at the door. "We should go find Rita." 

"Yeah. Just first -" Juno stands on tiptoe and kisses him. "Okay, we're good now. Lean on me. Let's get out of here." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wlw week is still happening in case you didn't see my last chapter's notes! April 7-13th I will be opening a collection especially for wlw from podcast fandoms! This can include f/f ships, or it can be about a wlw. You don't need to be a wlw to add to this collection, you just need to love and support all wlw! (This is a trans-inclusive collection. That's very important). 
> 
> If you're interested in volunteering to help grow the event you can email the address in my profile. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter! I love you all dearly. Your comments and support really help me with my confidence.
> 
> all of the rich people in my stories are terrible, immoral capitalists so basically my stories mirror the real world.


	5. slowing down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heist comes to a close. Peter still owes Juno a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the final chapter of what has been a very fun fic! I'm so grateful to all of the readers. I'll see you again on April 7th when the wlw week collection opens! Please tell everyone you know about the collection! (Also, I finished Second Citadel so that one wlw ship is going to be the fic on my seventh day holy crap I mean I got a spoiler so I knew they were going to be a thing but it was so sweet and amazing I'm -)
> 
> And stay tuned to the author's notes at the end for An Important Announcement. 
> 
> this chapter was really hard to write because Juno and Peter have the same pronouns so whenever I said something like "he hugged him" I had to agonize over whether it would be clear who was hugging who. double the same pronouns means double the fun and also double the confusion. we gays are so powerful. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> References to violence.

Rita has never been this scared before. 

_No, that's not true, she thinks, she was this scared before once in the past. When Juno went missing. When he just disappeared, as if she wouldn't care whether he lived or died - as if it didn't matter that he was just going to vanish clean into thin air while Hyperion City fell in his absence. Nope, just leave old Rita to watch her streams and listen to Mayor O'Flaherty's propaganda. That was definitely a time that she was as scared as this. More, even._

But this time is a very close second because the Ruby7 is just about the wackiest car Rita's ever driven, and not at all safe. Considering that she actually is a terrible driver, it's possible that any car she got into would meet these conditions, but she ignores that fact now because "OH MY GOD AAAAAH!" Rita shouts, swerving as she realizes that she just zoned out and nearly drove through the oxygen sphere. And here the car's roof is still down. She swoops around the restaurant and stops the car in midair, her eyes searching the ground below. "Come on, come on, Mistah Steel!"

_After the restaurant went under lockdown, Rita ran. It was easy to escape notice if she played her cards right, and Rita always played her cards right. Rita was the reigning champion of the Hyperion City Secretary Union's go-fish club. She just put on a helpless face, slipped into the crowd, and let the crush of other people carry her past the guards. Getting to the Ruby7 was a little harder. She had to crawl through the air vents to the garage to avoid the valets, and it was a very right squeeze. But she made it. From there, the car strategized for her._

Now she drums her hand nervously on the steering wheel. Her teeth worry at her mouth. "Ohhhh!" she whimpers. "Come on, Mistah Peter Nureyev! You've just gotta save our Mistah Steel!" Her earpiece is silent. Things don't look so good and they really don't sound so good either.  

Then she sees them, two figures huddled and almost unnoticeable against the darkness of the planet's surface. It's funny, the planet was so bright when they landed, and now all the other cars are gone and the restaurant is a graveyard. Juno and Nureyev are staggering towards the edge of the oxygen sphere, and it looks like neither of them can stand for much longer. 

Rita lands quickly and throws the doors open. "Hey!" she shouts. "Mistah Steel! Mistah Nureyev! Over here!"

"Rita?" Juno mumbles. "You're... okay. Rita, you're okay!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good, Mistah Steel. You ain't hurt, are ya? What's all this blood all over you?"

"It's from a steak. Long story." 

"Oh. Good. Are you hurt Mistah Nur..." Rita trails off as she looks over at the thief. His hair is a mess, his glasses are crooked, his dress is torn in at least five different places, and that definitely isn't steak juice on his hands. "Jeez," says Rita. "You really don't look so good." 

"Don't I?" Nureyev smiles weakly. The smile turns to a grimace. "I think I shall be losing consciousness now."

He topples suddenly. Juno, propping him up, gives a little yelp and Rita dashes forward to help support him. "Okay," she says. "Let's, um, let's get him in the car and drive back to the ship, okay?"

"Yeah. Sounds great. Ruby, can you make a bed in the backseat or something?"

The car whistles in reply. Seconds later, the seats all fold down and slide away, revealing a mattress on the back of them. The headrests come off and turn into pillows, and a blanket unfolds itself from a small space in the ceiling of the car. A first aid kit unhooks from the side. Juno and Rita maneuver the very tall thief into the backseat, and Juno climbs in with him. "You're gonna have to radio Buddy and Vespa," he says, tossing Rita his comms. "I need to look after him. And, uh, I kind of hit my head during this big fight that went down."

"Didja hit it hard?"

"Oh no, this Dark Matters woman just grabbed me and slammed me up against a wall really gently, before someone really gently put a laser through her back-"

"Mistah Steel, that's bad! What if you have internal bleeding? What if you got a concussion?"

"I'll be fine, it's just a lump. Just need to lie down for a minute, okay? You drive us back." 

Rita opens her mouth to inform him that she never got a legally registered Mars drivers license, but then decides against it. At this point, she's driven him enough times that he won't question her. Juno gets some bandages and cleaning stuff on Nureyev's cuts. The thief wakes up eventually, by which point Juno has obviously started to feel woozy himself. Rita should be focusing on driving, she knows, but her gaze keeps flickering to the two of them in the back as they push each other into the pillows and say things like "dammit just lie down before you knock yourself out again" and "you need rest, you  _idiot_ ", and "ow my head ow my head ow." These two are going to be the death of her. 

She loves them both a lot. 

  

They arrive back on the ship and are greeted by Buddy and Vespa, and then are not greeted so much as ensnared by Jet Siquliak, who walks up to them and wraps all three of them in a hug. 

"I was very concerned about you three," he says in his monotone voice. "I feared for your safety. Also, I finished knitting a scarf while you are done. It is a gift for Rita."

"Awww, that's really sweet!" Rita chirps. 

"Fay, darling," says Buddy with a hand on her hip. "Not to be blunt, but you don't exactly look up to your usual standard right now." She gestures vaguely to his torn clothes and bloody hands. 

"Yeah, and you don't look so hot either, Steel," Vespa frowns.  _(Juno, in fact, looks extremely hot because Juno always looks hot, but Peter doesn't have the energy to argue with Vespa's word choice.)_  "What happened to the three of you? I get that the food at the Opal Palace isn't great-"

"It's doesn't matter," replies Peter weakly. He's too tired to make some kind of quip. _(He's too tired to do much of anything, in fact.)_ "We have the data. Rita and I will fill you in tomorrow morning. For now, we should leave the Diana System. Dark Matters is probably tracking us."

"Wait - Dark Matters?" Buddy narrows her eyes. "If those -"

"I said probably, not certainly. I killed two of their agents, but there could be more." He kicks off his high heels. If he has to stand for another second he might just fall over _(_ _and never get back up again_.) "Now I'm going to bed. Good night."

He stalks off before anyone can say anything else. Vespa tries to call him back, but he ignores her and heads down the corridor to Juno's room, which has recently become his room too, and slams his hand against the button that closes the doors. He rips off his dress and shawl and throws them into the garbage chute. They're too badly damaged to attempt salvaging. Besides, even if he could, he doubts he'd ever want to wear them again after the things he had to do with them on. 

The blood comes off his hands easily enough, though getting it out from under his nails is harder, especially since some of it has dried. He runs a comb through his disheveled hair and puts on a pair of shorts and one of Juno's sweaters, which is oversized on the detective and therefore able to fit Nureyev. Sort of. He goes back into the room and curls up on the bed, and that's how Juno finds him a few minutes later. Peter hears the door slide open but doesn't say anything. He hears Juno's footsteps, and then the rustle of clothes as he changes out of his steak-stained waiter's uniform. The footsteps cross the room and Peter feels the mattress shift slightly. 

"Hey," Juno says weakly. Peter takes one look at him, and bursts into tears. Juno collapses into his arms, letting the thief pull him onto his lap, hold him tightly. Peter presses his face into the lady's hair and breathes in his smell _(musk and sweat and earth)_ , feels the softness of his curls, while Juno's heartbeat patters somewhere against his shoulder. A rhythm lulling him into calm, returning him to the present moment. He focuses on that. "It's okay," Juno mumbles against the front of Peter's sweater. His arms around Peter's waist are like an especially tight corset, but they are carefully angled to not brush the throbbing laser blast across his side. So considerate. "We're okay."

"Juno, you idiot," says Peter. His voice comes out all muffled by Juno's hair. "You almost died today. If that's your definition of _okay,_  I will need to buy you a different dictionary."

"Careful, Nureyev, looks like my humor has started rubbing off on you." 

He lifts one shoulder and drops it while he pulls the detective closer with the other arm. He kisses Juno's forehead, his temple, the scar on his nose. Juno catches his face and looks at him. "Hey," he says. "Something else is bothering you. What is it?"

"Who says something else is bothering me?"

"I say, because I know you. Come on." 

He doesn't get the chance to answer, because a moment later the door slides open and Rita bounds in. She bounces up onto the bed without so much as a hello, says "Group hug!" and wraps her small arms around both of them. 

"Rita, what in the hell are you doing in here?" 

"Oh, I came to check on ya, Mistah Steel! An' Mistah Nureyev too. I was worried about you both. 'Specially you." She pulls out of the hug and frowns at Nureyev. "I'm not sure if anyone told you this, but you've got a really big bruise right there." She points to his chin, where the Dark Matters agent jabbed him with the gun. He probes the skin briefly with his fingertips and winces as he makes contact. 

"So I do," he observes. " _You_ aren't hurt, are you?" He's already had enough people hurt over the course of this heist, ( _his own injuries are nominal)_ ; if a friend was injured because of his poor planning he's not sure he'll be able to forgive himself. 

"Oh, little old me? Nah, I'm just fine. Don't worry." She grins and sits cross-legged, bouncing on the mattress ever so slightly as she reaches over to take his wrist. "Man, and you've got a bunch of real nasty bruises right here! What happened to you?!"

"That's what I've been trying to find out," says Juno.  

They both watch him expectantly. 

Peter sighs and lets go of Juno. He leans back against the wall and picks at a stray thread on the blanket. It occurs to him that his mask is completely gone at this point. He does not look suave, he does not look confident, he does not look in control. He looks like a scared man in a sweater which is a little too short on him. "Fine," he says. "I fought the Dark Matters agents, and a few of the servers too. They caught me off guard."

"...aaaaaand?" Rita presses. 

Peter huffs. "And I killed three of them. There, are you satisfied now?"

"Oh my god," whispers Juno. "Peter, I-I'm so sorry." 

"Well." Peter pushes back his hair and crosses his arms. "It's not the first time I've killed people. That doesn't mean I... find the activity enjoyable." He lifts his gaze and locks eyes with Juno. "But I thought I was going to lose you," he said. "I thought I wouldn't be able to get to you. I promised you I would never hurt you, and I nearly failed to prevent your murder. I let those _thugs_ override years of training and put me entirely at a disadvantage when I should have had the upper hand, and as a result, you were almost killed. Several people actually _were_ killed, innocent workers just going to their jobs at the restaurant. You had to _watch_ that. You had to _listen_ to that, and it is my fault. I broke my promise to you, Juno." He bites his lip. "And on top of that, I now have another scar. So." 

 Juno looks back at him, with so much love and tenderness in his expression that it's physically painful. Peter drops his gaze again, wrenches a hand across his eyes.

 _(He wants to disappear_.)

A moment later, a small head falls against his shoulder and two arms snake around him. 

"I think," says Rita, "that you're a real brave guy, Mistah Nureyev. And I'm really really happy that Juno's dating you." 

"I'm really happy that Juno's dating you too," says Juno. Peter almost laughs. He returns Rita's hug with one arm and with the other pulls Juno in close again. He sits on his bed in this stupid sweater and stays in a group hug with the two Martians that know his name.  _(Life is a parody of itself sometimes.)_  Rita lets go a moment later and climbs back down to the floor. 

"I'm gonna let you two be now." She skips to the door but turns around at the last moment. "You two," she says. "Are really really great people. I hope you both know that. Okay, bye."

The door slides open, she steps through, and it slides shut. 

"I could ask how she knows your name, but I've got a feeling the story involves me somehow, so I'm pretty sure I don't want to hear it." Juno takes Peter's hands. "Seriously, though. I'm really really sorry."

Peter doesn't know what to say to that. Juno's hands holding his are so  _gentle,_ with his rough palms and his calloused fingertips, the thin line of scar tissue over one knuckle. He's never had anyone touch him like this before, never had anyone to hold in the way that he can with Juno. He's killed for Juno. He would die for Juno. But now, gazing into the lady's dark eye, he wants more than that. He wants to live for Juno. To live  _with_ Juno. 

"There's one other thing," says Juno. His rough fingertips inch up Peter's sweater and coast at the bare skin on his side  _(which sends warm thrills all through him_ _)_ until they brush the edge of the laser mark. "You mentioned this. Does it... I mean, are you upset about it?"

There are tears starting in his eyes  _again._ It's as if all of the cryings he wouldn't allow himself to do for the past twenty years are happening now, all at once. "I...I want to be beautiful for you."  _(His voice shakes.)_ "I want to be perfect for you." 

Juno smiles a little. He pulls Peter down into the pillows and holds his face. "Listen to me," he says. "I'm not... I'm not a perfect person, okay? I'm never gonna be a perfect person. I'm always going to have the mess that's my past, and some of that is always going to stay with me. And you-you've got your past. You've killed people. So have I. People have left me. I've left you. We've been hurt, and we've been happy, and we've been some weird, screwed-up combination of hurt and happy. I've hated your guts and I've loved you so much that I can't even believe it. And now... we're... together." He stops. "Yeah, okay, I'm not sure where this big dramatic speech was going. Anyway." He leans over and kisses the thief so tenderly that he could melt. "You don't need to be perfect," he says. "Because you're you, and you're exactly enough already. And I love you."

He looks at the detective, framed by the terrible fluorescent lighting of the ship bedroom, his eyes bleary and his hair messy. And Peter smiles. " _Juno_ ," he murmurs, pulling the detective close again. "I love you too." 

"You still owe me a date," Juno mumbles when they finally get their lips off of each other a few minutes later.

"And you will get one." 

They kiss for a very long time. Then they get into bed and Peter watches Juno fall asleep. His breathing is a rhythm, and it grounds him in this world and their relationship. 

(It's _not much, but it's something. Something he can lay claim to in a world where nothing is ever certain.)_

And he closes his eyes, and he nestles closer to Juno, and he falls asleep warm. 

 

After the Opal Palace heist, the team has to lie low for a little while. Stay out of major systems. Keep their cloaking device over the ship at all times. After a few weeks of watching the stars scroll by, Juno was just about ready to ask the stars to stop scrolling and land on one thing long enough for him to actually take it in, but that was a lot to ask of non-sentient objects that probably had no idea some lady named Juno Steel was sailing through them and going stir-crazy. So he just watched. 

Eventually, they dropped into the orbit of Triton, one of the few moons that actually resembled a planet. Most small chunks of rock had been snatched up by one billionaire or another. Why keep beautiful places beautiful when they could be milked for all the profit they're worth, or more common still, turned into a private playground of the super-rich? Triton's not like that, though. After the ice melted, the billionaires and corporations left. Some two thousand years later, it's basically one big beach after another, all open water and empty sand as far as the eye can see. As someone who grew up on Mars, the concept of the wild sea was a little mind-boggling to Juno at first. 

He is ankle deep in that sea right now. 

The waves churn on the distant horizon. Then, after racing each other toward the shore for a couple hundred yards, they seem to relax, like they're deciding that crashing onto the beach full force isn't the way they want to go out after all. They shrink, down to a small lull, and they creep along the last stretch of water in a faint crest. Foam brushes Juno's bare skin like a kiss, and the hem of his skirt dips into the waves as they retreat. 

It's unlike anything he's ever seen before. 

He stands looking at it for a long time, and he has to remind himself that it will still be there to see when he gets back. There's no rush. They have nowhere to be.

The other half of this "they" watches him from the beach in a fluttery white top and cut-off pants dusted lightly with sand. He has dark sunglasses propped up on top of his head. They're both dressed simply. After that heist, Juno could go without fancy clothes ever again. And yet makeup-free Peter Nureyev, with a single black ear cuff and his hair blowing messy in the wind, is just as maddeningly sexy as the first time Juno ever saw him.

Juno steps out of the water and walks over, marveling at the way that the sand immediately cakes on his wet feet like grains of metal drawn to a magnet. Peter smiles. "Well? Final verdict?"

"Final verdict: the Martian execs who make shows about the sea have clearly never been here." 

Peter chuckles as Juno flops down on the sand next to him. "I quite agree. They really don't do it justice, do they?" 

"Nope." Juno lays his head in Peter's lap. He watches the clouds as the thief's fingertips card through his hair. They asked Rita if she wanted to come with them, but she refused on the grounds that "This is your _date_ , Mistah Steel! Means it's just you an' Mistah Nureyev, and you're gonna have a real nice time, okay, and bring some sunglasses because I heard that the sun can kill ya if you look at it by accident -" and also on the grounds that she had a lot of shows and movies to catch up on. So it's just the two of them. The two of them and the endless sky, and sand, and sea. A collection of a bunch of rocks weathered down into tiny pebbles by what's basically just a glorified planetary swimming pool shouldn't be romantic. But it is. The sun is setting, and it makes the water glow orange and pink, as the breeze ripples the waves.

They've been here for hours and he still isn't ready to go back. And the best part is, he doesn't have to. 

They have time. This adventure will end and then there will be another. But it doesn't have to end yet. 

"I'll say one thing for you," he says, looking up into his boyfriend's face. "You really know how to treat a lady." 

"Indeed I do, Juno." Peter continues stroking his hair. Somewhere further up the beach, a gull has started crying, and more take up the call in a strangely beautiful rhythm. The waves lap at his ankles and the sun slips imperceptibly lower on the horizon. He is loved, and he is safe. "Indeed I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT:  
> Do you love the way I write fanfiction about fiction podcasts? Wouldn't it be kind of cool if /I/ wrote a fiction podcast? Well... I did! My original podcast will begin recording soon and launch on all your favorite podcast platforms later this spring. I can't tell you much about the show yet, but I will tell you that Season One is a ten-part fantasy story. It features warring kingdoms, a prince in a tower, magical bracelets, epic sword fights, daring escapes, and a famous dragon hunter who got way more than she bargained for. I'll be posting updates in my various author notes, so if you want to be the first to hear news about the show, be sure to subscribe to this account!


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